The CAT

75 Questions. 150 minutes.
Correct answer: 4 Marks
Wrong answer : (-1) mark
No of people : 1.91 Lakh
Difficulty : As difficult as holding your breath to death (Hyperbolized)
Year : 2006

Another CAT gone, another year passed. "Bell the CAT", they say. I say, "Kill it".

My discourse with Harish on the night of the 18th (In words : eighteenth) of november brought out some really important points which needed immedidate attention.

1) "Instructions overleaf" section:The present instructions only list out the do's and the don't's. We think it should be more elaborate. The IIMs should justify each and every point.

For eg : One instruction reads :"Bring with you HB pencils, eraser, sharpener and a wrist watch"

We reckon, it should read something like this : "Please(It's always good to be polite) bring with you HB pencils, an eraser, sharpner and a wrist watch. To err is human. You are human. Therefore, you may err. To correct your mistakes, we offer you this unique opportunity of marking your answers using a pencil. The eraser can be used to wipe out your mistakes (Yes. We have made it possible!). In case of pencil failure(Broken lead), we allow you to use a sharpener. A wrist watch may be used to keep time".


2) We also strongly believe they should serve cool drinks, cream biscuts, pizzas and play good, soothing music to keep down the tension levels of candidates.

3) They should come out with a question bank with 352 questions . Important questions should be marked with double stars, like, **.

4) Adverting to point 2, if the same cannot be implemented, Candidates should be allowed to sit next to friends and take up tests from home. This would allow for huge savings for the IIMs too. A win-win situation.

5) Candidates need more choices. They must be allowed to answer any 10 questions out of, say, 200 questions. However, the number of answer choices must be limited to two.

If the above are implemented, I am sure that the IIMs will go a long way in admitting better and more intelligent students like me. Else, God save the IIMs.

A Tribute

Sing Ale LOOooooya

The Britons call it 'Room number 100'. We called it toilet/taailet, when we were kids. Then came a slightly refined word, 'The loo'. Today, thanks to that fine coat of professionalism, we say, "Welcome to the world of washrooms/restrooms".

I frequent washrooms. I can't tell you why, but I do. I get to listen to some really hilarious lines in there. Here are some of the things I would refrain from asking, when in a washroom:

1) "Oh! Yenappa illi!?"

2) "Oota aita?"

3) "So...?" ("What 'so...?', you fatso". Who scheduled my meeting with you at this place?)

4) Knock, knock. "Hari, tu andar hai kya?"

5) "Thu! Illu queue na?"

One really nasty question when a guy is about to leave the restroom...

6) "Aaita?" (sounds like the person is a rogue who leaves all work half done!)

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"Home is where the theatre is"... "Loo is where the idea is"...
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Weekly team meetings

Day : Thursday
Time : 3 PM - 4 PM
Outlook reminder : Team meeting - 5 minutes remaining. Location : Nilgiris(Conf hall)

......... Loading team members ...............

"HA HA HA!! Look at you. You have resolved just 1 bug this week."
"Arey! That was a Microsoft issue. Tough one!"
HA HA AH!!!

Manager - Cough, cough. Clears throat (Ggaining attention...)

"So, to start off, I have a few points to make. Richard is really serious about meeting deadlines for the #### project. He says that all the Sev 1 and Sev 2 bugs have to be resolved before November 15th and the product launch is slated for 22-Nov 2006 -- The 'D' Day. We will have to prepare a user document too. So, let's do it and slap the document on their face! "

"Blah... Blah... Blah..."

End of meeting.

"Team meetings are useless".
"It's only for the manager to keep upto date with the happenings. All bullshit!"
"We are wasting our time here. Useless meetings".
"Simply we can sit and work. What's the whole point? I'm sleepy. Come, let's go have coffee"

The above are some of the comments I get to listen soon after a team meeting.

I think team meetings are cool. We get to meet and talk about what's happening with the team once in a week, that too, for one hour (Agreed. Sometimes two). The best feature of a team meeting is exchange of ideas. It generally so happens, one person is working on resolving a bug for over 2 days and he/she's hit a dead end. Such things are discussed in meetings so that some other ignited mind comes up with a solution. This is one thing I like about team meetings.

The second of course, is the log maintained by the manager about the team's current status and it's progress. This is really important for a team to head in the right direction.

Thirdly, issues that need escalation can be raised. For eg : "My system needs a new software to be installed. The IT admins are not co-operative enough. I raised a ticket but still nothing happened." Such issues are directly taken up by the manager and he/she can make furthur escalations".

Team meetings also mean fun, each one trying to pull the other's leg. Not even the manager is spared. Last week, the issue about 'bad food' being served was taken up. The meeting went thus:

Member 1 : "The food that they provide is shitty. Not even a dog can eat that food"

Manager : "Well, I do"

Member 2 : "For the amount we pay, this should not be the quality of food. Tell me Mr. Manager, do you like the food?"


Manager(Northie) : "Not that I like it. I thought this was how South Indian food was prepared. He he..."

Member 1 : "Oh! We thought North Indian food was being served. He he..."


Manager : "Frankly speaking, I don't like the food. I hated that 'gun powder' that they had sprinkled on pulao today. Anyhow, I shall take up this matter with @@@"

Manager : "Anythig else?"

Silence...

Manager : "So, that's it guys. Thanks for joining the party!"

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Team meetings are not a waste of time. Take a closer look. There's so much to learn, starting from the way the manager conducts the meeting . It's the most productive hour of the week.