Bottoms up.... up and away

Foster's, Mc.Donalds, Smirnoff, Kingfisher, Tequila shot, 'Three fourth vodka, one fourth lime'...
+
Ten years
=
Go hang yourself. It's quick and easy.

Cost of liquor for 10 years :

Lemma 1 : Cost of one bottle of hard drink remains constant for the next 10 years(Irrespective of inflation, that is).

Lemma 2 : 2 bottles per week.

Cost per bottle : Rs. 120
After 10 years(That is, 10 years prior to death) :
Rs.1,24,800(In words : One lakh twenty four thousand eight hundred only).

Now let's get to the other side of the equation:

Cost of acquiring ropes : Rs. 100
Cost of 'nothing else' : Rs.2
Total cost : Rs.102.

Yes. The second one is cheaper, better and works faster.

I have a feeling that non teetotalers are DUMB.
There are two types of drinkers :

1) Tyro : One who drinks because he is with a group of drunkards.
2) Expert : Who forces a tyro saying "Child thara adbeda. C'mon, have a sip".

Both must be shot in the hair. The former for being stupid and fickle minded and the latter... you know why.

I really feel sorry when a person takes his/her first sip just because of the continuous taunting/ridiculing/mocking by the hoi-polloi. I stand witness to 3 such victims. Next time they are among one such group, they don't think twice. Once done is done, they say. Result : Bottoms up. When someone does this to me, "Know thy limits", I say to myself. It works.

Why did I have to post this? Hmmm... Well, last week I had been to a resort from my company $$$. I was walking down a corridor when I saw a very cute child(about 8 years young) sitting opposite a restroom/washroom all alone, staring at something. "Hello, Gooooood morning", I wished her. There was no response. Ah! One more taciturn child, I thought. She had fixed her eye on something to her right . I followed her gaze to find a mug of beer convinently placed next to her on the other side. I was struck with shock. The mug was half full and the girl was left there to look after the smelling substance. I mean, an 8 year child next to a beer mug!? What the.... What is this world coming to? Some demented, weirdo father it must be, I thought.

Two minutes later, the head of my department at $$$ walked out smiling :( Now whenever I see him, I am reminded of the poor little innocent girl. Shame on such people.

If you are one of those types who drinks just for kicks, give it up or get into a rehab. Else, spend Rs.102.

All I need is...

I will soon be a great human. Somewhere close to God. All I need is to be...

1) as practical as my father
2) to have 'worldly knowledge' like by brother
3) as sensible as my sister
4) as patient and calm as my mother
5) As caring as my grandmothers
6) As helpful as my grandfathers
7) as humble as Arun
8) As bold as Sindhu
9) As versatile as Srinivas
10) As erudite as Arvind
11) As witty as Arjun
12) As cognizant as Harish
13) As Geeky as Shubha
14) As straight-forward as Shruthi Srinivas
15) As innocent/smiling as Smitha
16) As bindaas as Santosh
17) As chilled as Veda
18) As distinctive and stylish as Shreyas
19) As expressive/smiling as Shilpa
20) As daring as Shruthi Sharma
21) As easy-going as KD
22) As lively as Aneesh
23) As extroverted as Sandeep
...................
Hmmm... Unlike the present day Swaroop.
It will happen. All I need is time...


Time is my enemy. I shall beat it to death.

-------------------------------------------------------