Saturday, December 02, 2006

Changes to Formula 1

The GOD of motorsport.
Eighty thousand components.
Zero to 100 and back to zero --> 5 seconds.
Change of 4 tyres, 90 litres fuel, wing adjustments --> 8 seconds.

Determination, Stamina, Skill and Strategy win the game. F1, it is...

But, nothing's been happening on the Formula 1(F1) front of late. I am of the opinion that the game is getting duller by the day. The viewership has come down by 2 million, they say. Here are a few tips Mr.Ecclestone, to get the adrenaline pumping.

1) Strategically/Randomly/secretly place explosives in 20% of the cars. People love watching cars go BOOM!

2) Allow Street hawkers to set up stalls on either side of the track. This would add a festive spirit to the event where-in the audience can have the pleasure of treating themselves to delicacies from all over the world(An Indian hawker, for example, might carry Bhel puri, Idli-sambar, obbattu, kadubu etc)

3) Shoot the driver who crashes out in the first 10 laps. He/She has not provided us enough entertainment.

4) Make arrangements for remote controlled braking systems. Remove/Make a driver's brakes dysfunctional when he's doing 300kmph. After this, zoom a camera into the driver's face to study his expressions.

5) When a car comes into the pit, allow the pit crew to go on a flash strike. Remove tyres and go home.

6) Discourage/Bar drivers from using helmets. Also, at irregular intervals, pop up speed brakers on the track.

7) When a driver is seen at the far end of the track, help a blind old woman cross track.

8) Create/Emulate real workd scenarios. Allow traffic in both directions.

Long live the game!

13 Comments:

Blogger Shilpa said...

HAHAH!!! i would say..
Long live the drivers!!!! ;)

5:55 AM  
Blogger Sindhu said...

nimma 2nd point inda engothagate andre, neevu tindi potha anta...

6:50 AM  
Blogger Harish said...

Maybe we can also have traffic signals. Enantya?

10:32 PM  
Blogger swaroop said...

[Sindhu] Neevu intha pointgaLanne yaak nodteera?

[Harish] Brilliant idea!

11:06 PM  
Blogger Aneesh said...

I loved point #2 very much closely followed by #8.

Though, point #3 seems a tad too gory. (everybody 2 Aneesh: shutup, you judgmental freak, we love it)

11:36 PM  
Blogger Aneesh said...

I loved point #2 very much, closely followed by #8.

Though, point #3 seems a tad too gory. (everybody 2 Aneesh: shutup, you judgmental freak, we love it)

11:36 PM  
Blogger Arjun Sharma said...

What a radical changes you are proposing, gentleman. I am very much liking.

We could also have petrol pumps in the pits where the attendants would ask you to check zero meter reading before they refuelled your car. This ensures fair play.

Information kiosks could be set up in the pits. The drivers could check where their opponents are and base their strategies upon that information themselves, instead of relying on team radio.

1:17 AM  
Blogger Shreyas said...

How about having compulsory pits, ditches and speed breakers like what we have on out Indian roads...

7:37 PM  
Blogger swaroop said...

[Aneesh] Point 3 has been inserted after much debate about races in China(Communists - All win or All lose theory)

[Arjun] HA HA HA!!! Zero check maadodu is damn hilarious!

[Shreyas] Compulsory ditches/speed brakers --> Yes. We are in touch with F1 authorities to start Sringerian Grand Prix.

5:18 AM  
Blogger Harish said...

We can infact abolish the race itself and instead have an election to decide who is the fastest driver.

7:54 AM  
Blogger Harish said...

The elections can even be named as "Fastest Driver First". We can also have "Central Election Commission Of F1". the possibilities are immense.

8:11 AM  
Blogger Harish said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:11 AM  
Blogger swaroop said...

[Harish] He he... Elections! Perfect, perfect!

3:34 AM  

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